Hello lovelies!
I am really excited to write this post. While I have filed this entry as a relationship post, it can be applied to a friendship, marriage, co-worker interaction, etc.
Do you recall how everything was a competition when you were a kid? Who could run faster? Who could finish their worksheets faster? Who was stronger? Who got better grades? After high school, you'd think this childish behavior would wane. WRONG! If anything, I feel like I'm in competition in every aspect of my life. Who has better skills for that job opening? Whose degree is better? Who has the nicer car? The cuter boyfriend? The most money? Wow. I thought I could escape that nightmare. It's more prevailing as an adult than it was when I was a kid!
Why do we care so much? We care because if we're better at something than another person, we feel that we prevail in that area in our lives over them. Being married has challenged me mentally more than I could have ever thought. My husband is book smart and tends to use vocabulary that isn't commonly spoken. Me on the other hand, I prefer to be goofy and outgoing and use my words in a way that will portray me as such. I don't take much in life seriously. Because of this, I have been called stupid before. I think we all have. It isn't a good feeling when people consider you a brainless, babbling moron. It used to really upset me so much that I would go out of my way to prove that I wasn't stupid.
I am BOTH SIDES! I excel highly in science related subjects. I am practical, strategic, and I question everything. I am also passionate, emotional, very intuitive, and finished my college English courses by time I finished high school and tested out of the required reading college courses. Which side are you more like?
Here's the cool thing about life: We all bring different traits to the table. What are considered preferable traits? What makes me a better person than you? Or what makes you a better person than your neighbor? Nothing! "Idealistic" preferences vary from person to person. You can only feel inferior if you allow another person to manipulate your feelings. You are in charge of your emotions and thoughts. Should you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel that you aren't good enough for someone or you aren't good enough to do something, evaluate yourself. Question why you feel upset, jealous, or angry. Buddhists are very respectable in these situations, as they peacefully smile and walk away. That takes a lot of nerve when you have haywire emotions. Buddhists really know themselves. They take time to reflect and contemplate how to bring peacefulness into their every day lives. This is incredible for our mental and physical health. It's a great practice in the long run, because who wants to spend multiple times a day measuring up to what you think is better than what you're currently doing?
Who determines perfection, anyways? How is intelligence determined? Having a phD, having a high IQ, being able to work on cars, speaking foreign languages, how well you memorize, problem solving, creativity? The answer varies from person to person. Knowing yourself, having faith in yourself, and making a pleasant and peaceful life is key to being great at life. Reach your goals, help others reach theirs. The next time someone says something that negatively impacts your emotions, remember that you are in charge of everything in that brain of yours. Be proud of who you are, who you have become, who you are yet to become and what you are yet to achieve. You can do anything in this big wide world. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt
I hate it when people always say "get a life" to other people or that they have "no life". There is nothing that is set or defined for us that we must do to the minimum, in order to have a "life". I say if someone isn't directly inflicting upon another persons life, then let them live it. Everyone has a right to define what they want their "life" to be.
ReplyDeleteThere's to many things that go on inside of my head, that I'm thinking about. So putting others down or filling up with hate towards another person is the last thing that I'd do. It's just a waste of energy to live like that, if all you do is passing judgments on every little thing a person does. Loving one another and not judging one another, is the way I try to live my life by. Love is one of the greatest emotions for me. I try to spend my efforts into chasing love rather than hate.
I never put myself out there to be seemed as a "better" person than another. The only thing that comes close to what I do, is try to make myself appeal better, but not over someone else. I believe the best thing is being honest with yourself to others. If you lie your way into something you will, hopefully for people who have morals, feel guilt.
I would rather fail at something while staying true to myself, than to succeed with guilt. I wouldn't want to lie in a relationship, just so I can have a better chance of them liking me back. I think it would blow up in your face, if later down the road they find out you actually don't like the things they like and they start questioning what else you weren't telling the truth about. It feels a lot better when a person enjoy's your presence or likes you if you are just being yourself. I could never be a "faker" and feel good for someone liking you back because you are not the someone that they see.
I'm sure you've heard "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield before Katie. I love that song not just because it has a good tune, but also the lyrics are very meaningful. "Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in." is what I thought about when you talked about being in charge of your brain.
A weakness of mine, is not being able to live in the present and enjoy it. It's thinking about the future and the "what could be" moments that I always have. I can't really enjoy weekends, because once Friday is done all I can think about is, well I'm going to have to start this job all over again Monday. There's just a couple of things that make me enjoy the present and make me feel happy, not giving any thought about the troubles of tomorrow. Fishing, sitting on a boat, swimming, watching movies/tv shows and gaming are good a few of those things. I definitely at least don't "live in the past". I never situate on the "what if's" in life that some people tend to do.
My rational is that whatever happened, happened. All those chains of events are what led me up to where I'm at today and I should embrace it. I could say I wish I did this or met someone a lot earlier in life, but that doesn't matter now. What matters now is that I take charge of myself and my future. It hasn't dawned on me until the past year, that I need to start things now if I want to have something in the future. I have the power to create events that will lead me to where I would like to be.